If I had a buzzword for this up-coming year, it would have to be ‘apprehension’. I can almost taste the apprehension in every breath of humid air that I’m breathing in. Questions start to clog the clockworks of my mind till they can’t work, or even break from the stress. How will I pay for school? Can I handle all the questions about relationships? If this year is as hard as last year, can I handle it? What am I even going to do with my life?
Although these questions and worries are legitimate, they can stress me out so bad that I get breakouts and a swollen throat. That’s when I realized that I was not built to handle these things alone. God made me, created me, to need Him – to depend on Him. After almost losing my voice to stress, then the realization kicked in while my worries were valid, I had been asking the wrong questions. I should have been asking, How will God pay for school? How will God give the wisdom to answer people’s questions? How will God grow me through this year? Most importantly, what is God going to do with my life? God can do all of these things, and will do them all according to His will. Though I may not have the answers to these questions yet, I do know that even if God’s answers don’t seem to fit my human template thinking, come what may, God is always good and God is always right. God can and will direct my life, the matter is If I will follow directions. God will answer prayers, and if He says yes to my wants and desires, Praise Him; If not, Praise Him more. Something I’ve learned is that when God says no, it is simply because He has a better plan for His will in our lives.
Lord, help me to remember that you carried the weight of my sin so that I don’t have to carry the weight of these burdens on my own. Remind me that I am not alone, and how you’ve provided for in so many perfect ways already. Lord, I know that since You’re guiding me in the step for me life, You will provide everything I need. Not my will, But yours Lord. I Corinthians 15:10 ”But by the grace of God I am what I am: and his grace which was bestowed upon me was not in vain; but I laboured more abundantly than they all: yet not I, but the grace of God which was with me.”
